You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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