guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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