just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
