So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize