my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
