Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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