the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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