he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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