You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
