my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
