He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
