to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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