alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We are two peas in an std pod
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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