I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
