If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
