Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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