I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
