Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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