Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
