just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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