Got a toothbrush?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Apparently you make a good broom.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I want a musical about memes.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
