my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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