he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
