Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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