If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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