piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
