MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
