She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
