Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
