we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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