If i come over, it means nothing
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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