4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
