thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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