I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
