Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
