The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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