What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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