you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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