don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
