Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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