im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
