She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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