Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
