I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
