afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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