I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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