ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
