So drunk its hurt
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
