Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
