Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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