Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
