ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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